I Don't Like Dislike

Law #17:  You don't need a reason to like something.  You do however need a reason to NOT like something.

Ah the Facebook like.  Probably the most prolific currency on the Web to date.  To some it's worth more than money.  Heck there are even people willing to pay actual money for a like (not legal by the way so don't start thinking this is your new career opportunity).  Voting things up isn't exactly new on the Web though.  It's actually been around a long time.  But something about it always griped me.

As much as you hear that Facebook will someday give people the opportunity to "dislike" something, don't hold your breath on that one.  Their reasoning does make sense, but I'm against it for a much simpler one.  I don't think anyone should be allowed to express dislike for anything unless they can provide a logical and/or compelling argument why.  Yeah I know.  Blah blah blah America, blah blah blah first amendment.  That's all well and good, but simple dislike is really a rare emotion.  There's almost always a reason for dislike.  I don't like fish...because I'm allergic to it.  I don't like baseball...because I think the game is slow and boring.  See how that works?

The reason it's a problem for me (and for you too) is that people end discussions with "I don't like it" and that's it.  The end.  Imagine if every congressional bill ended with this (don't get me wrong, a lot of them still do).  If we don't understand why we don't move forward.  It's that simple. Naturally, discussion doesn't always change people's mind but at least we keep the conversation in play.  We have much to discuss.

This Isn't The Implementation You're Looking For

Law #16: Implementations should conform to your policy or give you a better one.

I know this one is kinda cryptic but hear me out.  Have you ever bought an appliance that was supposed to make your life easier and you find you have to rearrange the entire kitchen just to use it?  It's kind of like that.  If you implement something into your life, your job, your ecosystem and it totally screws up policies you had in place before this implementation showed up then perhaps this isn't the implementation you're looking for.  Unless of course your original policy was crap.  It's a simple test:  Does the implementation make things harder or more simple?

I say this as a tech and watching people implement sweeping systems without the proper focus testing.  Often these implementations forget to consider the most important element:  the human one.

Karma Is A Bitch

Law #15:  While it may pay off in the short term, being a asshole will screw you over over time.

Mean people suck.  Unfortunately, there are a lot of them out there and they're running around free to do their assholery.  Assholery, however, begets assholery.  I will admit, being an asshole has a lot of short term benefits.  It creates an illusion of confidence that women seem attracted to.  It gets you things you want because people just want you out of their space as soon as possible. Being an asshole makes you memorable.

But eventually dickishness will catch up to you.  While people might defer to you while you're around, when you're not, nobody trusts you for anything.  When you're not around, the people who you've been an asshole to are exponentially happier (naturally you don't care, because you're an asshole).  And the ultimate comeuppance, when you actually need something from someone you're been an asshole to they will in turn be an asshole to you.  Assholery begets assholery.  You'll find with time you have to go further and further out of your way to do things because everyone in your immediate vicinity knows you're an assshole and they want as little to do with you as possible.

Now I realize my post sounds like it's geared towards men but I'm equal opportunity.  Women also have incredible capacity for assholery.  We just don't call them that.  We call them what we call Karma.

No Perfect Mousetrap

Law #14:  It doesn't matter how well your machine works, someone will find a way to break it.

I was in line at the Subway (I prefer Gourmet Gallery but I felt like a change of pace).  Got me a footlong turkey sub.  One thing you'll notice about how they work at Subway is they follow the assembly line structure.  It's only 3 steps: first person puts together the basic sandwich, second person handles the topping and the third checks you out.  For the most part it's perfect.  However today it broke.  See they ran out of lettuce so we had to wait a bit while they got more.  The person behind me had a shorter sandwich with practically no extra toppings but the lettuce so she was waiting for me finish my sandwich.  Ah, but she didn't wait.  She jumped past me and went right to the checkout.  Had I not been watching where my sandwich was and if we had similar sized sandwiches it might have been a mix-up.  She broke the assembly line simply by skipping me.

I tell this story as a warning to be vigilant.  Keep an eye on your machine and be ready to fix it.  Somebody will break it.

Insert Random Opportunity Quote Here

Law #13: Humans are innately opportunistic.

The pic?  Why that's the Opportunity Mars rover.  It has absolutely nothing to do with this post other than it's called Opportunity.

I got to thinking that whoever coined the phrase "crimes of opportunity" wasn't too far off from unlocking the true nature of humans.  The concept is simple.  People are perfectly ok with lying, cheating, and stealing so long as they are provided with the opportunity.  The average human's ability to find opportunity is almost instinctual.  The ability shoots to astronomical levels when people are aware they can actually exhort opportunity without fear of retribution.

It's not particularly a bad instinct though.  It's just bad most of the time.

Daddy Needs A New Pair Of Shoes!

Law #12: There is no luck; only numbers.

So played any games of chance lately?  There's a reason they're called games of chance.  Chances are you're gonna lose.  Webster defines luck as "a force that brings good fortune or adversity" and "the events or circumstances that operate for or against an individual".  Truth is it's all about probabilities.  Crunch enough probabilities and you'll find they're mostly working against you.

I say this as a warning. If you're waiting for your "luck" to change then you really oughta stop waiting and do something.  Waiting puts the probability of things happening at about 0.

Simon Pegg Gets It

Law #11: Don't be afraid to be who you are.  Life is too short to pretend to be someone you aren't.

 I ran across this image on Google+ (don't ask) and I knew right away I should make a law about it.  If you're here then you're most likely familiar with my other blog: The Renegade Geek.  Believe it or not (I know some of you are too young to rem...oh never mind), there was a time when geek and nerd culture were ridiculed and considered outcasts.  Well yours truly was always a geek.  I'll let you draw your own images of what that was like for me.  However, I was always me and I don't regret that.  Since I spent so much time on the outside looking in, I was a keen observer.  I noticed that people tended to put on a mask to fit in and hid their interests and talents if they felt it would threaten their acceptance.  You're probably looking back on your younger years right now thinking about that one thing you loved but you knew it would brand you if you were ever caught practicing it.  And now you're probably thinking about how much time you wasted doing so when you could have been doing THAT.

Simon's right.  Being a geek IS extremely liberating.  It's about saying "Hey world, this is me and I don't really care what you think about that.".  In that respect, we can all be geeks.