The Ants Go Marching On And On, Hurrah

Law #3: In any line, whoever is directly in front of you will be the weakest link.

I grew up in Catholic School.  Reflecting upon that today, it dawned on me how militaristic the nuns were about walking in a straight line.  We'd spend a half hour literally not going anywhere until we had a straight line.  So I've therefore been imparted with an almost neurotic sense of what a line should encompass.  Turns out that the line is not so sacred to everyone else.

Now I would like to defend the sanctity of the line at any given opportunity, but unfortunately that requires everyone else to be with me on it.  That said, the person directly in front of me has always and probably will always be the weakest link.  I'm not just referring to traffic.  I mean any line.  Ever been in line with someone who won't physically stand in the line but will hover outside it marking their spot?  I have.  Ever had someone merge into your line from another while claiming it was the same line?  Yeah, been there done that.  Someone leaving a line and then returning just when it's your turn claiming they only went to pick up one more thing?  Almost got in a fist fight over that one.

Point is, you can't defend the line when the line doesn't care to be defended.  Unfortunately waiting in lines is a part of life (unless you're mega-rich then you wait for no man).  There are shortcuts though.  Thank goodness for the Internet.

Never There. You're Never There.

Law #2: As long as you're within proximity of multiple forms of communication, no one will ever seek you out.  It is only when you remove yourself from proximity to these devices will everyone seek you at exactly the same time.

I used to think it was just me but I've heard accounts of this happening to others as well.  You can be at your desk for hours.  Nobody will call you, email you, message you, nothing.  The minute you move, to say go to the bathroom, you'll come back and find that you've missed like 3 calls, you have 5 new email messages and somebody you rarely communicate with is trying to message you on Facebook.
 

You Again?

Law #1: So long as someone manages to impede your progress once, so long as they remain in your presence they will manage to do so again at least one more time.

An object in motion stays in motion tends to remain in motion...until some jackhole manages to find themselves in your path.  Here's a perfect example.  Say you're at the store and you're making a beeline for the register.  Out of nowhere someone manages to cut you off and now you're stuck behind them in the line.  You think it's over but that was only impedance #1.  #2 comes when it's time for them to pay and all of a sudden they have no idea how to swipe their debit card.  If the universe likes you enough, they'll probably be blocking you in when you're ready to leave the parking long.